its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
