He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
