member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
The uberlube is also flammable
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
