thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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