some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
