so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize