Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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