do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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