what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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