Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
