chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Someone shattered a urinal.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You can't just leave with hair like that
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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