the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
