Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
