I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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