the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
