Whod you bang
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
