Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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