JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
he quoted the bible to break up with me
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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