So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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