no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Can I color on your dick again?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I would ride that face into the sunset
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
