Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Enjoy the penises
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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