At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I need to calm my uterus...
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
