So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I need to align my fucking chakras
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
