Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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