A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
meet me or not, i'm out of control
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
