i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
