Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
