Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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