she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
