U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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