Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Randomize
