Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
