Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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