now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
