ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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