Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
