She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
