don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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