I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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