"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
