I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Randomize
