Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
