I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
