PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
