I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
