You're so nebulous sometimes
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
