he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
