There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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