actually, I'm a sock model
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
