did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
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