yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
