dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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