You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
