Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
