So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
