You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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