PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
