Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize