no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
