oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
wanna go halves on a baby?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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