Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
