try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
