Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
We need to get me chipped asap
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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