I'm so fucking centered right now
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
