evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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