If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
