After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
