My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
