TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
