so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
