idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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