just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
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