i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
