My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
You were trust falling into bushes
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
