I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize