I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
