please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
