Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
