Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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