i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
