but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
