You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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